18 DECEMBER 2011
My "BHUA JI " was one of the best person i have ever seen in my life. she loves me "like my grandmother loves me", "like my mother loves me", "like my father loves me". She passed away in the month of february in 2009.
That was the day when i wake up in the morning went to my college as i have an exam and after my exam i came back to my house and i have seen that some thing wrong happened, when i entered the room then my grandmother told me that " SEWA BHUA JI IS NO MORE ". I was just shocked, i dont know what to do.
I was just keep my bag aside and go upstairs, i was lost somewhere, i am just crying so badly. Now automatically my mind goes in the flashback and i am remembering does lovely moments which i spend with my bhua ji.
She was in the hospital in her last days, in those days many wrong ideas came to my mind, and at that time i always pray to god "That please make my bhuaji ok as early as possible", because i know that i was not able to face that day when some thing wrong happens. But at that time my prayers not come true and i think that god wants to win at that time because "heaven" is also waiting for the person like my bhua ji.
She mostly comes to delhi every year and lives here for around 10 - 12 days and i dont know why there is some different kind of happiness in my heart. This was a happiness like a "son meets his mother after few months" and that happiness is somewhat different. Whenever she calls us, she never forgot to talk to me, she always say "KAKE NAAL GAAL KARWAO MERI".
I am sure that there is "SOMETHING" in my bhuaji which forces me to go and hug her, which forces me to go and kiss her, which forces me to go and pull her cheeks.
And that "SOMETHING" is " LOVE ".
Whenever she has to go back to her house i always cries in my heart and try to stop my tears.
I Will never forget my mother told me that when i was an infant then my bhua ji raise me up very happily and when i spread toilet on her then she always says nothing happens. She never feels angry, she laughs on anything, today i am missing her smile.
At the night when she died i was not able to stop my tears, my pillow is wet with my tears and i was not able to pay attention in any of my work, my mind is running with the memories of my bhua ji and i am just thinking that " HOW DO I LET GO OF SOMEONE SO LOVING, SELFLESS AND HUMBLE." There was no one i knew in my my life who did not love her, absolutely no one.
Everything i am saying probably make no sense beacuse i want to say so much but i dont know how to condense it. if i talk about her qualities then i will say she is loyal, loving and passionate.
Although she's not here any more, but i have some comforting found memories of her which i never forgot till my last breath.
I can't stop crying, i can't stop thinking about her, i can't stop missing her.
I am missing her smile.
I am missing her love .
I am missing her hugs.
I am missing her talks.
I am missing her saying " I LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU OVER AND OVER"
I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT " HEAVEN" BUT I KNOW SHE IS IN "HEAVEN " AND IT IS ALSO VERY LUCKY PLACE IF THEY GET TO HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING.
My "BHUA JI " was one of the best person i have ever seen in my life. she loves me "like my grandmother loves me", "like my mother loves me", "like my father loves me". She passed away in the month of february in 2009.
That was the day when i wake up in the morning went to my college as i have an exam and after my exam i came back to my house and i have seen that some thing wrong happened, when i entered the room then my grandmother told me that " SEWA BHUA JI IS NO MORE ". I was just shocked, i dont know what to do.I was just keep my bag aside and go upstairs, i was lost somewhere, i am just crying so badly. Now automatically my mind goes in the flashback and i am remembering does lovely moments which i spend with my bhua ji.
She was in the hospital in her last days, in those days many wrong ideas came to my mind, and at that time i always pray to god "That please make my bhuaji ok as early as possible", because i know that i was not able to face that day when some thing wrong happens. But at that time my prayers not come true and i think that god wants to win at that time because "heaven" is also waiting for the person like my bhua ji.
She mostly comes to delhi every year and lives here for around 10 - 12 days and i dont know why there is some different kind of happiness in my heart. This was a happiness like a "son meets his mother after few months" and that happiness is somewhat different. Whenever she calls us, she never forgot to talk to me, she always say "KAKE NAAL GAAL KARWAO MERI".
I am sure that there is "SOMETHING" in my bhuaji which forces me to go and hug her, which forces me to go and kiss her, which forces me to go and pull her cheeks.
And that "SOMETHING" is " LOVE ".
Whenever she has to go back to her house i always cries in my heart and try to stop my tears.
I Will never forget my mother told me that when i was an infant then my bhua ji raise me up very happily and when i spread toilet on her then she always says nothing happens. She never feels angry, she laughs on anything, today i am missing her smile.
At the night when she died i was not able to stop my tears, my pillow is wet with my tears and i was not able to pay attention in any of my work, my mind is running with the memories of my bhua ji and i am just thinking that " HOW DO I LET GO OF SOMEONE SO LOVING, SELFLESS AND HUMBLE." There was no one i knew in my my life who did not love her, absolutely no one.
Everything i am saying probably make no sense beacuse i want to say so much but i dont know how to condense it. if i talk about her qualities then i will say she is loyal, loving and passionate.
Although she's not here any more, but i have some comforting found memories of her which i never forgot till my last breath.
I can't stop crying, i can't stop thinking about her, i can't stop missing her.
I am missing her smile.
I am missing her love .
I am missing her hugs.
I am missing her talks.
I am missing her saying " I LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU OVER AND OVER"
I DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT " HEAVEN" BUT I KNOW SHE IS IN "HEAVEN " AND IT IS ALSO VERY LUCKY PLACE IF THEY GET TO HAVE SUCH A WONDERFUL HUMAN BEING.
